I've always wanted to get married. I don't think it's very weird-- I'm a woman who was once a girl, and I was raised on Cinderella and Beauty and the Beast and Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, and marriage has always seemed like this glowing white perfect ending, this sailing off into the sunset of life, all swathed in white organza and lace.
though I now know that's an illusion, a well-meaning figment
constructed by romantics and idealists like me, there is still this
gorgeous, powerful allure to someday being one half of Man and Wife.
Marriage is love, forever. What's not to long for?
read an interview with Charlize Theron where she was quoted as saying
that she would never get married to longtime boyfriend, Stuart Townsend,
because she didn't believe in marriage and "I want to know that I wake
up to Stuart every morning because I want to, not because a piece of
paper says so."
Immediately when I read it I knew I disagreed
with it, but couldn't figure out why. I mean, it sounds romantic and
free-- love unfettered by politics and law. What was it about this
declaration of free love that felt wrong? As I thought about it
throughout the day, I pondered my parents' marriage, my best friend who
wed when we were both 18, and so many married people I know and respect.
I thought about how I've always longed to be married, and can't wait
to commit to be someone's other half for the rest of my life.
is the deepest form of human love. I truly believe that. And love is
not affection, it's not infatuation, it's not an emotion or a feeling--
it's a state of being. It's an all-encompassing presence of heart that
puts another person before yourself and honors them above all others.
a man and woman get married, when they choose to spend the rest of
their lives with each other and ask the state to stand as witness, what
they are really saying is, "I choose you. I choose to love you even on
the days when I don't feel like it, when the emotions aren't there, when
you hurt me and don't treat me like you should. I choose you above all
others. Because you are the most honorable, trustworthy person I know
and you are worth loving. I give my heart to you in exchange for yours.
And on those days when I really, really don't feel like loving you, I
commit to anyway, because you're worth it. I choose to honor you with my love and my life, forever."
I will stand facing the best man I have ever known and give him my
heart. I will look in his eyes and hold his hands in mine, and entrust
my entire self to him as he swears to always choose me. He'll give me
his heart in return, and I'll vow to choose him, to honor him until the
day I breathe my last. I will choose to love him, to be love to him, and
he will choose the same for me.
We're going to be a great team. And I can't wait to meet him.