Friday, June 26, 2009

The Princess

The Princess of the Castle / La Princesa del Castillo by Barandalla (via Flickr)

Sometimes I think about princesses. The ones in fairy tales that scores of princes came to prove their valor for. I think about how a princess must have grown up, always knowing that someday this test would be placed before the men of lands near and far because her hand wasn't just any hand-- it was worth fighting for. I think about what it must have felt like to stand at the window and see them all parading up to the castle door, seeing what each one brought, what tools or props were packed to aid in the test before them.

I wonder if the princess ever picked a favorite, ever had one she was really rooting for. I'm sure it must have gotten tiring watching them all come, and how she must have secretly hoped for some of them to fail. But I wonder if any of them ever caught her eye. I wonder if there was ever something about the way one of them looked at her, or the way one bowed before her father, or a certain something in the way another one stood that captured her attention. How her heart may have started to race with the idea, the thought, the hope and the anticipation that finally-- finally!-- this could be the one! This could be the one brave enough and strong enough and smart enough to tear down the castle walls that kept her royal prisoner.

...And how it must have felt to see them fail. To see them drop in the middle of a race or tap out in the middle of a fight. The grief and shame they felt were probably no match for the flood of lonely disappointment that must have filled the chambers of her heart.

Oh the pain. To know one's worth and know no one worthy enough to own it. Is there anything more wounding to the heart?

Monday, June 22, 2009


So I just got back from my first spin class.  I've been trying to be more physically active lately (blah de blah... white noise... aren't we all...?), and when I heard about a free spin class being given by a friend of mine who's a personal trainer, I decided to gather my nonexistent cajones and give it a shot.  I had only ever heard painful, torturous things about spin class, but looking for a new way to boost my booty, I figured 45 minutes sweating my brains out in a dark room for free would at least be educational.  

Here are my thoughts.

1. I didn’t know it was possible for a human to sweat out their body weight in 45 minutes. Much less did I think it was possible for ME to sweat out my body weight in 45 minutes. But it is. Apparently. (I mean, my WRISTS were sweaty… What?!)

2. There was a point about 2/3 of the way through the class when the searing pain was not in my thighs, calves, arms, or abs… But a VERY centralized location where I didn’t realize numbness could be so scandalously painful. And that’s all I’m going to say about that.

3. I was, by far, the youngest person in the room. And I was also, by far, the slowest.

4. If we are, on any level, friends, I’m really glad you weren’t there. I hit a point, trudging up that imaginary hill listening to Freddie Mercury sing about my "bottom", that brought out some very animalistic qualities… Let’s just say there was some grunting and snarling.

5. I stink. I mean, I really stink. But I guess that’s a repeat of #1.

Currently I’m curled up trying to move as little as possible. My body feels like an abused refugee. I could hardly walk out to the car, let alone climb the steps to my apartment. But if it doesn’t kill me, I’ll be back on Friday. Let's do this.

Thursday, June 11, 2009


The incredibly talented Tracy at shutterbean posted this lovely little q&a yesterday and I was so inspired by her answers I had to respond to her open invitation to fill it out for myself.  Let's go!

what is your current obsession?
-Mediterranean food and pictures from the graduation fiesta I went to on Saturday night. Ole!

what is your weirdest obsession?
- Cereal

what are you wearing today?
-Black yoga pants, gray deep-v, and my yellow wrap/ hoodie/ sweater

what’s for dinner?
-Trader Joe's pizza, split with Zo.  Extra Tapatio please.

what would you eat for your last meal?
-Chocolate cake.  Extra frosting.

what’s the last thing you bought?
-A slip.  Yep, like the ones your grandma wears.

what are you listening to right now?
-The new Hillsong CD.  And the fan softly whirring above my head.

what’s your favorite ice cream flavor?
-Brown Butter Brickle from Scoops in Los Feliz.  You have no idea...

if you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would it be?
- A big, beautiful, sweeping plantation-style house Savannah, Georgia with a wrap-around porch and a hammock and a big beautiful kitchen with lots of windows.  Or just a fatty mansion on Lake Como, right next to George's house.

if you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour where would you go?
-The beach on the north shore of Kauai, belly full of fish tacos I just ate with my dad.

what language do you want to learn?
- Love and grace.

What’s your favorite fruit?
-Apples.  Chilled please.

what is one of your favorite daily/weekly rituals?
- Making breakfast.

if you had $100 now, what would you spend it on?

-New sneakers.  Embarrassing.

Do you admire anyone’s style?

-Whenever I'm stuck trying to decide whether or not to buy something, if I'm really honest I always think, "Would Marilyn Monroe wear this?"  If she wouldn't, I don't.

Describe your personal style?
-Relaxed, easy glamour.  I never want to look like I'm trying too hard, or like there's been too much effort put into what I'm wearing--not too "done"-- but I like looking put-together and a little romantic.  Feminine.  Relaxed.  Glamorous.  An outfit has to have that magic.  I want you to think *I'm* beautiful, not what I'm wearing.

What are your fave films?
-Gladiator and Pride and Prejudice are tied for first.  But more recently, I just watched Tootsie and it rocked my world.

What inspires you?
-Romance.  Seeing people's hearts peek out in unexpected ways.

Friday, June 5, 2009

Cobbled Together

This was a hard week.  A really hard week.  Things were said, things were not said...  And I wasn't prepared for any of it.

But then all of a sudden something broke.  Or rather, something broken was suddenly reset and stitched together again.  And then everything felt (mostly) all right.

My friends Sean and Melissa (yep, the same ones) are leaving for several months.  After spending a large portion of this painful week at their house, I am even more sad to see them go.  Tonight some of us are getting together for games, togetherness, and a whole lot of laughter, and I've made this Strawberry Graham Cobbler to add a little sugar to the festivities.

It's warm and oozing with sugary strawberry goop, and topped with a brown sugar and graham cracker crumb topping that's really more of a streusel than anything else.  I hope it adds some sweetness to our time together tonight.

Strawberry Graham Crumble

32 ounces frozen strawberries
1/3 cup sugar
1 teaspoon salt
3 tablespoon flour

1 cup brown sugar
1 cup flour
1/2 cup graham cracker crumbs
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 cup (1 stick) butter, chilled and cut into small cubes

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

Combine filling ingredients in baking dish, stirring until the strawberries are fully coated with the sugar/ flour mixture.

In a separate bowl, combine all the dry ingredients for the topping.  Then add the cubes of chilled butter and integrate into dry ingredients using a pastry cutter, fork, or your fingertips, until the butter is thoroughly mixed throughout and feels like damp sand.  There should still be small clumps of butter, about the size of a pea.

Spoon the topping onto the strawberries and bake for 35-45 minutes, until the strawberries are bubbling and the top is golden brown.  Allow to cool for at least 20 minutes before serving.